yes im actually quite pissed off deep down inside with a lot of things that dont really concern me. rmb this line people, for its exactly why i dont show how i feel inside to the outside world. so why am i blogging about this now? its simply because its an avenue to vent. its an avenue to vent loudly without offending too many people in the process. and to top things off, hoping that some reader may look at it and hopefully choose to not get angry with my opinion but rather sit and reflect. then again..... its really all about choice isnt it?

which is exactly what im pissed off at. choice. the last post i typed was to inspire, to motivate and to the extent a bit of plead for my class to look after their learning. i will not deny that some have changed for the good, others more than the other. however there is still this group of random people that dont want to put in the effort. and i cant help but wonder why? do they think they are too good or cool to study? maybe.... cause i would think that the Alevels being a few months away would scare the living daylights out of some. the idea of skipping lectures or just wasting time that we dont have the luxury to waste is appaling with the grades that some of us get. sorry i made a mistake... i meant ALL of us got. there is no one, none, zero, nonexistent, people who got good grades in my class.

lets talk about the different group of people now. there are those who didnt do as badly as the rest in common test. these people are those that have barely scraped a grade decent of staying in the college. yet some of them think they are so fuckin superior to the others. they are complacent because of how they are able to perform a notch higher than the rest. without realising my dear friends that your grades are filth compared to other classes. yes i speak of someone in particular that i choose not to name. but your attitude of superiority angers me inside cause you condemn those that dont treat their studies right.

then there are those who are simply not affected by their results. it was as though ptm n the common test simply bounced off their thick heads. these are the people who still despite efforts in class, choose to slack off because they find comfort in the company. and this company can come up with a thousand and one reason not to do their work. they would "claim" to be bothered. basically these people are either to engrossed in everything to do with studies but than studies itself OR everything else to do with not studying than studies itself.

next comes the people who were motivated at the start but have lost fuel or the drive. they claim the status of stupidity just cause they fall behind. they choose to give up or not give a shit because finding out how to do means "dragging others to slow down for them" or "its a lot of work and impossible for me to catch up now". so these people generally just give up with their studies or subjects and choose to not bother.

finally there are those that have been TOO affected with their results that they claim that the fault lied with the class. the fault didnt lie with the way they studied. no no it cannot be. the teachers are useless and cannot help them. i have my own plan. i will study the way i want. it this group is especially painful to watch cause they are the hardest to talk to. they claim they know what they are doing but in fact they dont. from a third persons point of view, i can only sit and pray that their methods work even though i know deep down it isnt. these are the most dangerous of people too because they look down or judge unknowingly the efforts put up by people to help or the teachers who help and cause an drastic effect of influencing others.

but im not all that angry with the class la. dont get me wrong people. there are still quite a number who are bothered about their studies. there is still quite a number of people who is fighting to help the class. i only express the above out of anger, not to the class, but to myself. why? cause i think i may fail the class. i fear that i would not be able to pull them through. im worried sick each night, thinking of how or what else im supposed to do to make this all better.

oh well in other aspects, cjc hockey is doing a commendable effort. if we win tmr, we guarantee top 6 in the national A'division hockey championships. im actually really proud to be part of this revolutionizing team.

sports carnival was a real tiring one this year despite me not playing in any major game, but i think the eco challenge was really fun. as in really really fun. so good job and many thanks to joanne, joseph and chang yong.

lastly, rjc dance night last night was pretty cool. i think it was real awesome to be able to spend time with outside school. and whats better is that i got to catch something i really fancy. which is dance. i really like dance and it was also cool to catch up with eugene.

its gettin late alr. i think ill call a night. adios amigoes